Here; In a dream.

Loving words on a park bench make me laugh in your face because I am spiteful and awful and maybe you can love me just the way I am but probably not. I pretend that I want to be free just like you, climbing to the tallest tree, loving you back, caressing your skin with fingers filled with gold and glitter and kindness. But, for now, I spite you and I take revenge easily. I shoot you dirty looks to get what I want. Your loathing is working for me, it makes you more beautiful, more attractive. solitary dreams roam, I breath with a mouthful of frost to spit at you when the time is right, words timed to hurt you, I pretend to orgasm and I pretend to enjoy this, but later I will think about how much you despise me and enjoy myself then and I will tell you this and smile inside when you scream and cry and run and tell me I am sick and I know this already, I have heard it many times before, you are making this enjoyable for me, transforming your face into a twisted sense of hate and I am loving the way your body tenses up when you are upset and I think about this when I am alone sitting on my bed feeling lonely and crazy and thoughts of your slender frame, blonde hair, eyes filled with tears and twisted face dance in my mind and I love you.