Here; In a dream.

He was humming a tune in the shower. I couldn’t hear it, the song blocked by the rain of the water washing away all of his secrets. This was standard. I would always watch him from the bedroom, watching as the mirror fogged up and listened as he hummed the same melody, one I could never place. He told me he was a terrible person, and I believed him. Just another Monday, I wait for my turn to shower as he steps out and holds the curtain open for me. He has the day off today, he tells me. He is going to play video games and run errands, he tells me.

As I ran out the door, I stumbled over my own two feet a few times, the faster the next few days go by, the faster I can be back here. I catch a taxi; I stare at the bright blue sky for a few moments, wondering what it would be like to fly. Stuck in traffic, I listen to the honking of horns from other cars and watch as a couple holding hands crosses the street and I realize I could never understand what it meant to be in love, never knew if I could ever be in love. I’ve faked my way through it a few times, but to be truly, unequivocally dedicated to someone else? Everyone must be lying to each other. This is always the conclusion I come to when I think of these things.

Another glance at the blue sky and I see something strange, and I hear far away screams. An object becoming quickly larger, and as if falling from nowhere, it is ignited with orange and red flames and comes crashing down on the city, a terribly loud gunshot sound, trembling the entire city, I’m sure could have been heard for miles.

I wake up, upside down. I feel a warm trickle of blood down my neck. I do not feel any pain.

I crawl out of the upside down taxi cab and I am not sure where my driver went. I see no one else. Buildings around me have tumbled and fallen down; some are burning, grey flumes of smoke into the bright Chicago sky. The smoke combined with the sunshine creates an eerie glow and the heat from the day mixed with heat from the fires make it unbearably hot inside the city.

I cannot see anyone else, but I can hear muffled screams and cries and I cannot see through the smoke and I feel calm. I walk towards his apartment. When I arrive, I see that where his apartment once was, was now a large hole that went for almost a whole two blocks. I fall to my knees. I hear the hum of the melody that he sings in the shower every Monday morning. I still cannot figure out what song it belongs too. He is standing beside me, staring at the empty crater where his home used to be. I stand beside him. I hold his hand and I wonder to myself why I still cannot fall in love.