Here; In a dream.

curved spine, it is something to talk about, vitamins and what is the point of this? chocolate every day, can’t get enough of it or of my thoughts of you, need them endlessly, tie me to a chair, let me drown, sing me a song, whatever. I sink into thought in public and I’m sure I look so silly, but your voice and your funny faces, and your finger tips, I don’t understand why you held my hand. I wanted you stop. I even thought this then. when it was all okay. stop holding my hand. It will tear me apart one day. and I was right, your hug, I knew what it meant, goodbye. this song means too much to me, I shouldn’t listen to it any longer, I am so bitter without reason, I knew it would be this way. I am cold in my room, and I cringe when I see your name written across my computer screen, fuck you social media. It has been way to long and I know I really don’t care anymore, or do I, and I write about it anyway. this is the way my mind works. do you still want me now? do you still want to take me to your bed once you have seen me, really seen me, and do you still want to kiss me and caress my thighs, staring out into oblivion, lying to ourselves, holding me closer, and I make things up in my head that will never happen, stone faced and I smile at you and I am lying, can you feel it? since when did I give up this easy, since always, it is true. you look at me and I know you think I am crazy. It’s true, I am, it’s been proven. I want bittersweet memories, everyone wants those, right? These are the thoughts of madness, or does everyone think like this? I feel like a prisoner inside a cell of my own creation, concrete walls and metaphors dancing in my head just waiting to pop out onto the page, my eyes dance across your shoulders, filled with desire and I just want to be someone else for a little while, I want to save the world, or maybe I will just drink some tea. this doesn’t make any sense.