Here; In a dream.

I find the outdoors terribly overwhelming, all trees and grass and children playing, laughing with their friends, laughing at me. I want to go back inside, back to where the lights are dimmed low and my mind can rest and warmth and comfort can seep and settle into my bones. I once decided that anything that required a heartbeat was not for me to meddle with. I found that I lost track of thought, time, energy. I could die in an instant. Death, with you in between my thighs, in the middle of the night, sighing. Candle lit midnight. Stationary at noon. I ask the world to slow, to relax, to adjust to my needs. I am naive and dull.