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Cravings and desire and loss and emptiness. Cloudy days, sleepless nights, breaths that I can see because it is so cold, anxious thoughts and questions I cannot answer. I hate not knowing what to do when what I want is so simple and you are making it feel so complicated.

I liked what we did, where we were and when it was all messed up, I was all messed up and I am sorry and I wish you didn’t know what happened and I wish we could go back to the way things were and when we used to dance and walk and hold hands and when things were easy. I liked easy.

Sex and cuddles and chit chat and a broken bed and a broken heart and nightmares and pizza and feeling warm and whatever. It didn’t matter. Because it was just there and we didn’t need to talk about it because it was easy. I need to let it go when I don’t know what to say to you anymore. I’m going to say something wrong and I will be sad and you won’t care and that will be that.

I need to stop thinking about this.