December 2011
17 posts
5 tags
Why am I not a bird,
high and free;
and why am I not a rose?
Why do I have so many words to write
and none of them worth my time.
5 tags
I sleep away most of my life
day dreaming and believing in promises
if you say something, I bet you mean it.
warm under covers and cold in my skin,
I long for stray cats to come my way.
and if they do,
I shoo them away,
regardless of their innocence,
and I am stranded;
hoping they will come back
because they cannot live
without
me.
6 tags
Someone people like.
I try and work and nothing is produced. The smell of mango’s and friendship gone wrong. I am sitting inside my head waiting for it to be over. When I can forget about it. When I can move on. Words written on yellow note pads and I don’t feel like doing anything scribbled across those blue lines. I am a good person gone astray. I am everything you will ever want, trust me. I want a new...
5 tags
soft skin and soft time, cold hard wood floors. This is all new. I miss you but I cannot tell you that I really don’t miss it at all. White walls and neon lights, stranded in the air. You are not here and I cannot feel you and I do not want too. Purring in my ear is my wake up call. New love, new life, new windows, new closet, new keys. I forget to eat breakfast as usual, I am rushing as...
3 tags
How can you?
Write me a letter when you are cold and lonely and need a friend. I am open and I am waiting and you write it, you tear it up and you toss it away. Think of me when you are day dreaming to avoid whatever it is that is bothering you, think of talking to me and holding my hand and how awful you can be to me. Think of when I am sad and alone, what do I do? I think about you. Sing a song and forget...
5 tags
I want sympathy and I want you to let me be selfish sometimes.
I am completley selfless.
When I want to be.
When I want you to like me.
I can be rested completley inside myself
and I cannot come out
unless coaxed.
Because I can be undeniably selfish.
When I want to be.
When I want you to hate me, loath me, run from me.
I know how to make you turn away.
5 tags
I don't mind sharing with you.
I read it and I feel like the words are being directly written to me. Selfish and obscure, you are stalking me and writing about me and you seem to know everything. You are far away and you seem like I cannot quite reach you but you are writing to me. I know this. I feel your breath on my neck and I can listen to your voice in my head. You are writing directly to me, pulling out everything within...
This is the way that I am. Hopeful and honest and I am going to walk away. I am returning your scarf and your memories and the way you made me feel good and then the way you made me feel sad. Bitter taste of coffee and I am going to exude confidence. I am not going to be inquisitive. I am not going to care. I am going to stay calm and I am going to walk away and I am never going to see you or feel...
5 tags
Shaking hands and nervous laughter.
This is me.
The way the light hits your face;
The way you feel when you are all sweaty and sexy;
I can’t get it out of my mind
And this makes me nervous.
Nervous Nervous Nervous.
I can feel your breath on my neck
And I feel your sadness as you bite my shoulder
I know it. I know it. I know it.
I use you for something to think about;
...
It is little and it is pink and it is making me feel sick. It is the possibility of a new me. It is my future and it is my past in a package the size of the tip of my baby finger. It is the colour of bubblegum. It scares me and worries me and makes me feel anxious. Ironic.
3 tags
Frost bite and red eyes;
frozen lakes and frozen time;
snow falls cold onto my skin;
Illness and hoplessness;
Time is slow and time is fast;
and I am homeless.
4 tags
My head is fogged and my hands are shaking and I’m not sure if I can make it through this week. I am scared and hopeful and excited and worried and anxious. I want you to think I am sexy and I want this to go smoothly. I want you to see what you will be missing. And I want to have the best night of the year. It is only Monday and I must wait, longing for Saturday.
6 tags
I want you; believe that I am evocative and sexy
I want you; touch and electricity and hunger
I want you; whispering and affinity
I don’t want this to be complicated,
easy easy easy
I am easy
use me.
I am already inured to your touch.
6 tags
Jealousy and drunken arguments
holdings hands and smiling and giggling and tea
you are the thing that has kept me here
when I needed it most
clear mornings, foggy afternoons
complaining about this or that
and we talk about the same thing over and over
we walk to the beach, near your apartment
and we sit in the sand and we squint in the sun
and we never thought these days would...
5 tags
Anticipation and the way things are supposed to be
longing and good riddance to you
even though that is not really the way I am feeling
although this feels like calamity;
the end of the world as I know it
Ghosts and creatures and the way your skin feels;
We kiss and we laugh and everything is okay.
5 tags
Cravings and desire and loss and emptiness. Cloudy days, sleepless nights, breaths that I can see because it is so cold, anxious thoughts and questions I cannot answer. I hate not knowing what to do when what I want is so simple and you are making it feel so complicated.
I liked what we did, where we were and when it was all messed up, I was all messed up and I am sorry and I wish you...
You, the quiet earth and the loud mind. The silliness and the way we used to dance together. You the cold food and the hopeless nights, the way you always ask me to leave and walk me out through the cold air and the lazy conversation. So subtle. So soft. So harmful and you have no idea. You, the lies that I told and the stranger that I have met. The bad ideas, the cloudy afternoons and cold...